I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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