You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize