I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
