Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
