If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
