I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
