why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better