man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize