I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
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i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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