I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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