susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
