I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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