he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Pooping to opera.
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