Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Found the puke drawer
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
