Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Alive.
So much puke
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
