Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
