I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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