Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wannas sexs uuuuu
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
