I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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