I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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