my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize