I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize