omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
