I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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