break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
