The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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