Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
