is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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