something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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