It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
