My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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