Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize