update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
