All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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