NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
high people should be assigned attendants
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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