I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
