i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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