No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
