this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
