you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
