you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
