Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
