I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
