im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
