halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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