Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
