I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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