btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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