..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
you never un-have a 4some
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
