Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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