She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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