my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize