grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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