thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
