Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
