I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
