Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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