We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
my liver is dry heaving
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
