girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
