She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
