I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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