I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
