just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
